I couldn’t leave…

… even if i wanted to.

Its got to be one of the most scandalous things i’ve seen this year.

77.50 for a 10 year passport renewal.

I can’t afford that on top of just leaving the country, even for just a few days.

So i am stuck in England with no choice of leaving, i could go to the border and try without one, but it’ll never happen.

That’s bad, as simply economics has priced-me-out of movement, which in my eyes shouldn’t be so.

Yes, there is a solution of course, but at a hefty price.

I wonder just how many people are priced-out of ‘life’ and ‘movement’, and how many don’t even realise it.

Saturday Night blog

Its windy here on the North Norfolk coast.

I felt like going-out, as it has been a long-time since i had a good night out drinking, but did i go, no, so its early to bed, to dream of youthful and more enjoyable days.

Its true what they say kids, so get some fun in, as when you’re past it, it really ‘is’ hard to get ‘something’ back.

So all i can say is this…

… God, on a Saturday night its hard being middle-aged, and quite bored.

Friday Night Blog Returns

FNB is back. This week has been Sex and Drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll, well some of the week anyway. But it ain’t as great as Mr Ian Dury says, in my opinion anyway, but then again its a young man’s game, and i ain’t as young as i once was, and the thrill isn’t as great as it once was.

On the flipside i’ve been doing a lot of housework and decorating, so had some mundane life too.

Astrology still looms large in my life and always will, with so many ideas to be developed.

Let’s do it again next week.

Stone me what a life

My life has become dull and rather ordinary. I know Summer is coming but i also know its just going to pass me by. With nothing on the horizon it saddens me that whilst others will be out-there enjoying it i will not.

What has happened to me i ask myself, 46 years old and nothing to really look forward to, i am really feeling sorry for myself, but with no one to blame but myself, i should start to make something of my life before its too late.

But as i do not want to work and have plans to write a lot, i should just accept it all and carry on, what else can i do.

I’ve made my bed and i should lay on it.

If…. …..only…..

You say you don’t want it, but you’d only say that if you didn’t already have it. And if you didn’t have some-thing, you’d believe you wanted it, only to satisfy the urge.

Peace comes from knowing what is best for you.

We all ride on combined energy.

My football team

Football is a beautiful game. Norwich get a last-minute winner, but how !!

Ball gets kicked into the ‘stand’, Norwich chief executive catches it, throws it directly to the manager, rugby throws to a player, the throw-in, goes straight to star striker, who kicks towards the goal and scores.

Fairy-tale stuff.

Priced out-of life

It is coming, it is here, it always has been, all these statements are true.

How much ‘pain’ can you take? Does anything matter until you can no longer afford what it is you see as your essential parts of life taken-away from you.

When your thing, that little extra thing that makes life bearable is ‘gone’ or under attack you will ‘crack’.

We support a ‘life’ which is killing us.

No wonder we are offered so many new things nowadays when so much is taken away.

‘Direct action’ is coming. So much emphasis is placed towards a ‘final goal’, that I say an inevitable split will come, which ‘way of life’ will you ‘side’ with, when the real crunch comes?

Its sustainable living at a decent standard, or some far-away golden land that never quite materalizes?

Its not one struggle and one fight that we are all in, the ‘system’ wants believers, but man is far more than that, and his true face is emerging.

Life is being ‘carved-up’ and its up-to-you to find the missing links before those in power do, as that’s their game, they’ll find them and close the circle before the real discussion starts.

The Egyptians are liberating themselves, but already the ‘powers’ are searching for ‘leaders’ to retain the status quo, to ‘price’ the people back-in.

The time has come for the ‘people’ to stand-up and say, we can’t afford to live in your ‘created’ World anymore.

These ‘untouchables’

Royalty, and Prime Minister, Chancellor and Home and Foreign Secretary, [i heard on the Radio] “i wouldn’t go there”, meaning don’t talk about them in any way connected to news stories, like phone hacking. Why? [to protect them], but is that the whole story? no, says this bod.

It’s all about control

The debate goes on, whether it was ‘right’ to make such massive ‘cuts’ to frankly [the british way of life], as we knew it, by slashing money out of the structure of life we had known, and built-up over many years, but in which we were [no doubt] involved.

If i said that the ‘cuts’ are designed to actually change ‘nothing’ you may think i’m bonkers or talking rubbish. And if i said that the long-suffering public will take it and take it, you may again think likewise.

And all this ‘talk’ of changing anything by protest groups and violence is really just another way of people ‘deluding’ themselves in continuing to believe they have personal ‘control’ over their lives, then think again.

We have already given-up most of our control to ‘governments’ years ago, [from the 'time' they were first introduced], and they are only there… [think of exactly what the word 'governance' actually means]?

We are fighting against ourselves when we take on the ‘powers that be’.

Now everyone knows that, [or should know] that there’s only one thing that prompts any real ‘individual’ action, and that is… when we find ourselves in a ‘tight hole’ with our backs against the wall, and governments exist to make sure that the majority of people don’t find themselves in this situation.

So has this government finally ‘stabbed themselves in the foot’?

It won’t be their end, as people want ‘that’ situation, there will always be another ‘set’ of people ready to step-up, if the old guard fail, be sure of that. The ‘ones’ with the loudest voice will be heard, and tell you that ‘if we all talk at the same time’ then no-one will be heard. Keep in-line, you’re not next inline to the throne.

The trouble is, the prime minister is right, [we are all in this together]; the blackmail of guilt which they hang over us, and in which we know we had played a part, so try getting out-of-that.

So as the squeeze happens, and the quality of life diminishes remember this… the illusion is simple, [from their point-of-view], to help keep things as they are, and ‘up’ the losses we suffer are just so that one-day the ‘powers’ can say ‘that’ life hasn’t really changed and we have just ‘kept you in a life you/we have been accustomed to’, which may seem like a strange thing to say, but these ‘losses’ we’re going through are ultimately to make us believe we haven’t loss anything.

It is simply business as usual in the ‘global’ marketplace, as there is a bigger picture here, and that is not ‘to lose’ our position, and they gamble on us being able to take the strain, as the economy shifts to other parts of the world.

Our future is already planned, and will the ‘willing’ victims die?

Don’t be fooled by a ‘mirage’ of equality, because its not that way, and if you let them know this, how can ‘they’ [not see] what is staring them in the face.

The time of the refusenik is here, but don’t think its [you or me].

Are the ‘masses’ starting to ‘really’ think for themselves? or just another reactionary movement.

If thats the bus ride, i think i’d rather walk

What use? a moral code, a way to think about things.

In the 30 years since Crass what has changed? we’re not going to change the system, they sang, you’re not gonna it too. How right they were.

Why do the lyrics still hit home? once heard never forgotten, i suppose. Should i have taken the other bus? conforming to everything? it has changed me, or ‘developed’ me, to be more precise.

Would or could i have been another person? i doubt it, unless i buried or let go of much of my experiences. I still have [so much] of what i’ve ‘got up here’.

Crass helped individuality flourish and with the ‘alternative’ clearly stated, i would’ve only fooled myself to do ‘otherwise’.

A world created by yourself for yourself has to be worth more than being a pantomine clown keeping the system intact.

Will life ever change whilst the ‘power’ lies out of your own hands? no-one wants to deal with ‘anything’, because to do so puts you up against so many ‘things’.

I will continue walking though, as that bus is so ‘full-up’ nowadays, that there’s nothing left to do, even a brick through the window and pulling a passenger off is a ‘worthless and impossible’ quest, and why would i want to do it anyway, as the bus is going over the hill.

But try taking ‘something’ that isn’t yours nowadays, and you will feel the ‘full-force’ of their law, why? because its all ‘stitched-up’, always has been.

‘Accept the shit and slavery, be one of us’. Oh yeah.

Put your foot on the line, and have it stepped-on. I’ve said enough.

Rant rant rant, i can’t take no more

I am absolutely sick and tired of all the advertisements for perfume at Christmas this year, I wish they’d all f-off the tv, as I’m sick and tired of them all, but I know I can’t do anything else except switch-off.

Friends re-united :-)

It seems to me, that i have more friends of this blog than i realised.

New opportunities are arising

As a unemployed person with little chance of finding work, I’ve made in-roads into the volunteering field, I may get to work with the learning disabled here in Cromer or perhaps some befriending.

I have a steady home life and just enough money, so I’m using this as my base, and I’ll reach-out from there, tomorrow I find out about more volunteering, it really is the best way for me just now.

People are starting to get really pissed-off

Why did money go global? and why do we see the collapse of countries, even those who ‘were’ once strong. Why are the French going to take money from their banks [in order to] cripple them? and what is the effect on us?

Well its got a lot to do with every country joining-in a ‘free for all’, and we were [the public] then all coerced to follow ‘this’ ethic.

Revolutions only happen when the ‘satisfied people’ find that they are now ‘unsatisfied’ with [that], which they, were once happy to let ‘keep’ them.

And why the dissatisfaction now? like me, [who, by the way, can only afford a pint of milk this week], and nothing else til Friday, and that’s no joke… are those who ‘bought the line’ [words] of… you can be, and remain wealthy ‘in this day and age, are now starting to see what it ‘really takes’ to remain with their ‘heads above the water’.

The ‘millionaires’ [to my mind] only want ‘that’ much money to ‘guarantee’ they have access to ‘everything’ [should] they want it, and its an expensive security blanket [if you like], as all the ‘others’ are told ‘you can achieve it’, but there’s only so much ‘money’ to go around, and do you really want to ‘have’ such deep psychological flaws, that you need to compensate, as i believe much of gaining massive personal wealth, is all about, [a substitute].

But everyone is so tied-into-it, that if you bring down something in your riot, [however its played-out] its likely to end-up with you burning-down your own stuff. You see, ‘they know’ you can’t afford to lose-out.

No-one can escape it now, and if you think you can, then you are a fool.

Global monetary policy is simple, we’ve fleeced and bled the individual dry and all that’s left, in this ‘stupid game’ is to take a whole country down now everybody is tied to what happens in their country, no one is immune. But I have faith that anything ‘pushed-through’ eventually fails due to ‘no support’.

The [end-game] is one-of ‘global domination’, and one day we’ll find that a ‘winner’ has been declared.

And a lot of people will say, I didn’t even know a ‘fight’ for this world had been going on.

Welcome to a world controlled by whoever did well-enough in the ‘carve-up’ of resources, and then won against all the ‘others’ for the soul of the world.

If you don’t believe me… then look and see what ‘allegiances’ you are already making, and the ‘control’ you have already given them.

Sometimes I think we are ‘too far gone’ already to undo things now.

And people trying to pull-out of banks in France will be applauded by one hand, as the commentator’s then tell them what [in their hearts they already know], ‘that they are too inter- connected’ to the way things are, to help their plight now.

The illusion of ‘change’ is a hard one to see through. But everytime you hear the phrase ‘business as usual’ you should shudder, as it has greater ‘meanings’ than you could ever imagine. But its likely you’ll let it pass, as you ‘are’ that business, and you believe you want it [all to be] as ‘usual’, but as I said in the title, more and more people are getting pissed-off.

The Fullest Moon

I am looking at one of the brightest ‘full Moons’ i’ve ever seen. Lovely but strangely frightening.

2 Minutes of ‘your’ time

As I sit at Sheringham station on my way home from the ‘premiere’ of 40 2 minute films, of local life here and in Cromer, I feel its been a good nite, even if it wasn’t that well attended. My ‘film’ was well received, but so were the rest.

I’ll do more ‘filming’ next year. Surprising thing is, trains were in more than one film, but the NN Railway is here, so not that surprising I suppose.

If i could do anything right now…

I’d get on a spaceship and fly to a paradise planet, but keep the earth’s stimulants and alcohol for the journey and when I got there, once ‘at home’ I’d want ‘to be’ [all alone] ‘there’ for a long time.

Life has got rather dull of late. All I can have ‘tonite’ though, is a windy night in my home town and some ice-cream, and ‘that’ will have to do.

No, I wouldn’t swap/be with ‘life’s’ [high rollers], at 45 I know a lot ‘about’ what I don’t want, and plenty ‘about’ what I do want.

Why bother complaining too much, when you can’t do ‘much’ to ‘change it’. Anyway I like strawberry ice-cream.

Why should i care?

We are all in this together said the Government man, taking a ‘hit’, so do I believe its the best thing for ‘us all’? true, we all take something from living in this country, but its a ‘delicate balance’ with the ‘bloody minded’ average citizen doing what they do, whilst looking out for what’s best for themselves, in the ‘circumstances’ they live within.

So to mess with what people do to ‘survive’ is dangerous ground, as we all ‘pride’ ourselves on our ability ‘to cope’ in this country.

We all realise ‘our place’ is mainly related to our ‘income’ and our ‘connections’ so to ‘pull the rug away’ from so many people so ‘quickly’ is going to lead to ‘discontent’, as those who believe they should be ‘somewhere else’ in the ‘scheme of things’ realise that this is no longer the case.

The sad fact is, [we all], from the richest to poorest rely so much on what we’ve managed to build-up for ourselves by so many hard choices, and with the ‘game’ changing the participants will only ‘play along’ whilst wanting the old way to be ‘restored’, and ‘that’ now looks a lot further down the line.

Who’s going to start a revolution? Punks, hippies, communists or radicals? no, the man who’s lost his comfortable position and is fighting to regain it will. Even then he’ll never change anything only reinstate his own values.

The ‘fight is on’ and to answer my own question, do I think all ‘this’ is best for us? yes, if it helps us to realise the fact that ‘wanting to; and having everything’ doesn’t leave [much room for change].

And now ‘change’ has been forced on us, talk about a ‘seal cull’.

Enjoy the next 4 years of ‘conserve’-'tory’ rule, if it lasts?

Sod that! 103 not to do before you die

I’ve always been ‘down’ on so many things in life, so reading a book where the author [Sam Jordison] talks about ‘why’ its best ‘not to do’ many of the things that people aspire to do, sees me laughing out loud.

If you are young and stupid with ‘ideas’ to do ‘things’, [read this book], even if ‘you’re not’, and like me you’ve ‘purposely’ missed-out on so much of what the world offers, you’ll have a ‘scream’ and ‘smugly’ say to yourself [you were so right to have taken 'your' stance, all those years ago].

Bring in the decorators; what me, no need.

Exactly five months to the day since I moved-in to my new home and I’ve finally decorated the living room, its been a hard slog, but I’m proud of myself for keeping at it and somehow finding the money to do it with my parents help too.

In the past I’d of given-up by now, and spent my monies elsewhere, so I must of matured ‘somewhat’ in my attitude.

But its not the ‘end’ as I’ve partly decorated the bathroom, kitchen and hall, so must continue a while longer ‘on them’. I thank God for giving me the strength and resolution.

Who should take the cut?

We are just starting to see the real ‘pain’ of proposed job cuts.

I wonder why people’s jobs should go to make up ‘some’ money? and other people probably do to.

Its taken years to build-up these positions and there’s no doubt, that without ‘this’ monetary [problem], they’d [the workers] would’ve carried-along quite nicely.

So why not take all the money we need from the financial sector? I suppose simple economics needs a rise and fall of many factors, and ‘good standards’ must be maintained for those above a certain threshold, I mean keeping their ‘wealth’ in tact, problem is… if the ‘rich’ keep ‘rigging the game’ [as to] maintain ‘position’, in what is an personal extension of ‘country politics’, with some inevitable ‘losses’ for those just below their line, then eventually the ‘few’ left with the ‘billions’ will have less room to ‘move’, and ‘their’ economic games will have less ‘power and sway’ to affect people who have already lost-out.

And because these ‘others’ who have just lost-out [will have made] a ‘different way to live by’, [only because they have had to], any monetary ‘resurgence’ they cling-onto again will never last long enough to see themselves back where they’d like to be, how could it? ‘the table is loaded against you’

And as ['one of the points'] of having lots of money is to buy-up anything ‘new’ or ‘threatening’ that comes along, if only to keep us blind before we realise how it all has become so meaningless, I foresee those sucking-up the wealth attacking anything that creates and sustains wealth with more venom, they must get their ‘money’ to play with from somewhere. So if you have some money watch-out, you’ll be a ‘prime target’. [Any spare change] will not be an exclusive ‘phrase’ used by just the ‘Big Issue’ sellers.

The name of the game is simple…
‘Make it mine’ but we are still to see the ‘flip side’ when ‘they’ really start to use ‘that/their’ power to ‘really’ have ‘influence’ over our lives, and those days will surely come, if only as a ‘natural result of previous actions’. Take heed Mankind, as the ‘truth’ of losing-out is starting to hit home.

Friday Night Blog 34

So its Friday night, and its been a pretty average week past, with few high or low lights.

I did make a start editing the train footage I’d taken during the Summer, ready for a October film festival? maybe.

I seem to spend a lot of time on Facebook and WordPress lately. I now have the Internet at home thanks to a ‘Dongle’ and its ok for everyday stuff but watching ‘video’ is a frustrating experience as its slow and works at a ‘varying’ speeds, making it near impossible, I suppose that’s ok as I don’t watch to many of them, but I would’ve liked to have access anyway, but it definitely isn’t broadband speed so I’ll have to get used to it.

Decorating continues and the end is in sight, but just as i finish one piece another appears, but that’s what happens when you tackle 4 rooms together, especially 4 in bad repair. I will get them all to a stage I’m happy with then stop for a while as the Autumn approaches.

Its going to be a long Autumn and Winter for me i think, its already getting colder in town and I wonder how much colder it get by the coast? having never lived there before.

Money: Static or Mobile? No choice.

They are taking far too much back to quickly, the Government thinks it’ll claw back and sort-out the debt in a short space of time, when it took years to build-up.

Everyone is involved now, 666 is ‘money’ and its ‘stamped’ on all of us.

Why are the doing this? they want to help the profit system get back going again, as that’s ‘our’ way, and will the ‘poor’ benefit or get anything back from the ‘losses’ they are now ‘taking’, yes possibly but over many years, but it will be capped of course.

So why is there a benefits culture? just like those who need their wealth to lead a life of mobility, its [no joke] to be able to stand still with any kind of dignity.

Typical of any Government to ‘offer’ a new choice and then make it impossible by their ‘actions’, or at least let it been known as such. So says one of the [downtrodden] me.

Friday Night Blog 33

Its time to start the end of the week blog again. A few words on what its like to be alive and to be me. So alive and surviving, and still tired and in some pain.

Cromer: far too windy for my liking

So when the wind blows here, a strong gust can seem like a hurricane. It whistles past my flat and I must be in a tunnel, its worst in the kitchen and bathroom. And ‘just to think’ for years I hated the sound of ‘high wind’, but over these [years of isolation] I now have the view that ‘wind’ is my friend.

Settling-in ‘at home now’

So Cromer is really starting to feel like home now, I know my way about town and have places to go and people to see.

When the weather is nice its a joy to be here, and taking people at face-value seems to be the only way of living with the locals.

I am quite isolated and must seek out more company. The decoration and getting my flat in order has meant i’ve not had the time to see how i’ll really feel when there’s less to do, but I should do enough to keep me happy most of the time, I think.

I like where I’m living, which I couldn’t say about my last home.

Life in a new town

So here i am in Cromer and it really is something else, it has such a strange way about it and i haven’t yet got to understand the people so i feel quite isolated, then something happens that makes me realise they are alright, just a little different from what i’m used to.

UK Subversives tonight

30 odd years after they began i am going to see the UK Subs tonight at the King Edward the 7th pub in Norwich, along with my good friends PMT a all girl group that i know.

God i love Punk Rock, i’m so happy that it came to earth and in my lifetime. Us ‘Punks’ are very lucky guys to still have it around, with bands like the Subs.

LONG LIVE PUNK ROCK !!

I’m about to move home

I’m moving to live by the sea-side, i may be off-line for the rest of May, just to let you know. I love the sound of the waves coming onshore.

Bob

Itzy and Bitzy: My love kittens

I now have no cats, but once there were two. I bought two black females back in 2004 and named them Itzy and Bitzy, i still don’t really know why?.

I loved Bitzy more than Itzy but she was so wild and free, i let her have total freedom. This inevitably meant she was outside all the time and only came back for food, then out again, and because i never kept her in, she started living outside more and more. I wouldn’t see her for days, eventually she just left home and the cat i loved most became a stranger, even not recognising me when i saw her. I know she’s still around the neighbourhood, but she’s her own cat, and such is life.

Itzy liked to stay in more and really loved her food, she stayed with me until i realised she should go, so i could have better relations with neighbours. I cried for days when she left, but knew it was for the best. Under different circumstances she would still be with me. Itzy taught me the value of love and i’ll always have a ‘little bit of love in my heart for her’.

Then a strange thing happenend: I read that the ‘Mayan Wizard King’ was the chief possessor of ‘itz’, and it was the ‘cosmic sap’ or magical liquid of shamans and alchemists, which can be used to heal or kill.

Lets just say Itzy lived-up to her name. She is gone to live-out her days with another, but she will never be forgotten.